I've used writing as a really important and personal self care routine for as long as I can remember. Journaling, poetry, years of "blogging" that even though they weren't that special or well done, serve as such great slices of memories of my life at the time, even if sometimes super cringe! Writing has, especially recently, been such a pivotal part of dissecting and understanding a lot of hard life shit. I started a Substack way back around the time Serge did but, for me, it was just something to mess around with when I felt like it during Covid. My public posts have been few and far apart but it's been free so I don't think anyone cares much. I also, I just looked, have 16 drafts that are either complete or close to complete that I just haven't had the nerve to publish. I've ALWAYS been inspired by Serge, his raw honesty, even before I ever knew him in person and lately I've been motivated by so many of the other writers I've been macking and snacking on lately.
So, I've been thinking about this for a long time and I think I'm ready to move into the realm of "paid subscriptions". I wanted it to be lower actually but Substack has a $5 per month minimum. I know I can be worth it. I want to publish more, 3 or 4 emails a month! I have so many ideas beyond my "letter to you" concept. I want to engage and relate with people. I want to collaborate with other writers and artists. I want to talk about art and bring you along on that continued journey with me via photos and videos! I want to talk about all the things. I even have my mind set on a potential podcast that I've been thinking about for years sometime down the line!
I was born to be a creative so here I am pushing onward. Think about supporting me? (There is still a free option too, to me that is still incredibly supportive!)
In the meantime, here is a small slice of something I wrote last year. A favorite. Check my site to find the rest.
Enjoy. And even if it ain't me today, support small entities always.
Excerpt from "Celebrating My 21st Birthday With My Future Husband (Ish)"
The first time I laid eyes on my husband was about an hour before I turned 21 years old. It happened in a dimly lit bar called Sin-e and it was filled with body humidity and white noise and a haze of smoke. There was the low hum of everyone talking at once, living and sharing an experience together but also completely separate from each other before they all start to shout and scream and whistle and cheer at once because here comes the band. Their band. Not my band… yet.
I think the moment I first saw Serge I subconsciously sensed Bruce Springsteen somehow. I’m not kidding. It likely had to do with the fact that a fellow Springsteen fan had invited me there, the mannerisms and the way he was dressed. The vest. I didn’t know so much as his name at the time. But damn, I thought he was fiiiiine.
And the music was fire! This band is the kind of band that knocks the wind out of you live. By this point in my life I had seen a lot of live music on a lot of different levels and to be honest I was a bit of a snobby critic when it came to new music, especially if someone else recommended it. I don’t know how to properly articulate how blown away I was standing there in the first song. It was another clear moment of me feeling what I felt seeing Bruce Springsteen the first time. A lightening strike. What is happening right now? I was catching the energy. Maybe Serge’s spirit was flying back through the crowd and standing next to me to make sure I heard him right. To hear what he was trying to tell me that night.
Photos: Arle Bielanko unless otherwise noted
Email: arlebielanko@gmail.com
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Come on now try and understand
The way I feel when I'm in your hands
Take my hand come undercover
They can't hurt you now,
Can't hurt you now, can't hurt you now
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to lust
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us
-Patti Smith/Bruce Springsteen, “Because the Night”